So the hardest of them all – My Introduction.
Hopefully my not so glorified story and life can share some light and hope for people who are or has been in similar situations.
Who am I?
What am I?
Well these questions I am asking myself daily and the truth is – I am not completely sure.
My name is Anne-Charlotte, I was born in the middle of November back in 1992( making me 25 years old in writing moment). I am half Swedish & half Norwegian. My family is big and fractured. I am a proper daddies little girl.
I am incredibly shy and insecure when I try to approach the world without a horse by my side. I was heavily bullied all way through school and even after I started working. For not being pretty enough and always “to fat”. This scared my confidence a lot and it is something I effectively have to work on every day to not let the demons take over and push me down into the darkness.
I am a little country girl, love to be outdoors getting dirty, I’d rather hold a hammer and a saw than a needle, thread and cook. As people have said – I am no wife material.
Singing is a big passion of mine and I also play the piano/keyboard (working progress). I have recorded a CD (together with my dad) & performed a few times – mostly as part of a choir or duett. Whenever I am sad, music will be playing by me. I’m also known as skipalong and love long road trips with music playing loud and me singing(read shouting) alongside it and correcting the artists lyrics, they’re never right are they? Favourite artist is Reba McEntire and she’s one of the few artists my lyrics agree with, haha!
I am also a bit of a geek/gamer. Would pick an evening playing Xbox or Playstation over an evening with some girlfriends drinking wine.(I don’t actually like wine at all).
Photography is also something I love and looking more into at the moment.
I was good in school and had very good grades – but dropped out at 16. This is when I moved abroad and started working.
I’ve always been feeling like I’m not enough. People want me to be something different. Skinnier, more lady like, more “normal”, have a better social life, have a boyfriend and a more 9-5 kinda job. And because of this I feel anxious going out trying to meet new people and dating is completely out of the question. Specially with all the apps – unfortunately a picture of me in a good angle is better than the real life creature that I am – often do I also get – oh you look so different in real life. Or – oh didn’t recognise you from your pictures. So…. even though I am starting to accept me as me – online dating is still a scary thought. Maybe one day I find someone that don’t mind me as I am, until then I am, wouldn’t say happily, but yet, single!
I know this is an alien concept for most people around me that I don’t have a boyfriend, date or ever have done. But for me the section above is the reason why – and I am ok with that, for now.
To work with horses was always high on the agenda. But I also considered ; Journalism, Marine Biology, Novell writer,Veterinarian and Economist.
I’ve always been fascinated by water and in particular the deep blue ocean.
I am hypermobile and after suffering a car accident at 15, my everyday life is filled with pain – but this is something I have learnt to live with. Sure it annoys me greatly that I in such young age always find myself in pain – but I have kind of found peace with it.
Though I might break a lot of norms, I don’t hope you will hereby look at me like a broken jigsaw puzzle to try and fix. I wanted to show people that a sunshine story doesn’t always portrait itself quite the same behind the scenes.
I know people around me always has tried to support me, but often it feels like they’re supporting the person they wish I was -not the person I am.
Accepting help, and believing in that people genuinely want to help – ME – is something I through experience have very little faith in. Though I am starting to see that this is actually possible – Thank you!
Everything that I have been through, bad and good, has made me the person I am today and the person I’m working towards becoming. I have more faith in finding back to my path and my laughter now than I was years ago when I tried to suppress all of this.
Keep on smiling guys – even the darkest place has light, sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump at it to find a new way. Close a door to be able to open another one.
This Is Me, stripped right back to the bone!
Thank You all for supporting me and reading this.