A week has almost past already.

Everything has a last time;

It might just be temporarily but still feels heavy this week. The title actually is part of a song I’m listening to right this moment whilst writing this to you.

I wrote this almost a week ago, but didn’t feel I could continue.

I had a lovely but sad good bye last week.

Leaving Heather

And leaving my Princess was hardest. But I will be forever greatful for have them in my life. They both have helped me grow so much, as a person, rider & trainer.

I have been away almost a week now. And spent the weekend in Sweden – I will make a separate post about that probably tomorrow.

I just needed to finish this one.

Me and Heather went out on a dinner, our last dinner before this new chapter of unknown future were to begin. There was a lot of lasts, both of us finding it quite difficult. But somehow still managed to enjoy our time together.

This face, with added tears was frequent.

But so was this ❤️

Goodbyes are strange phenomenas, which I just can’t get my head around. I have never liked them. But somehow it also shows how lovely a time you have had and what amazing connections to the people and animals you have created. And for now it is of course only a temporarily situation. But it was still sad.

I got a letter from Heather on my last day. I didn’t cope reading it until I already was in Norway. But will keep it with me, it is such lovely words written in it, words that means so much to me, from someone I know will always have my back.

It’s time to round up for this time. ❤️

Life keeps going on, clock keeps ticking and what is around the next corner is unknown for us all. I try not to worry about it to much. And look neutrally forwards.

Take Care

Ancha XO

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Friday Blues

Hello

I hope you all had a great Valentine’s Day yesterday.

I cooked me and Heather veneson steak with potato gratin and mushrooms filled with feta cheese – as a treat. Somehow we managed to eat the dessert the day before, haha!

I’m gonna miss my Scottish mom so much! She is really a special person that means so much to me. I know she’s only a phone call away, but it is still very different to just see her every day.

She is going away this weekend so I’ll get one more weekend of teaching here before I’m going to Norway on Wednesday. Sonja will be staying over which will be nice.

Danza and the Gerbils will stay here for now. Heather will be looking after them.

She is being so good! Patiently waiting for me to do something with her. Breaks my heart. But at least I’m going away to try and sort it out.

Later today I have an appointment to sort my nails and eyebrows out, they are a disastrous mess!

Take care

Ancha XO

Disc protrusions/desiccation, osteoarthritis, more and a whole lotta Google research going on!

I guess it’s time to update you on what’s going on. I have got my MRI results back. Unfortunately we are no wiser. I will have to go back to Norway and try sorting it out. I will book flights later today. My England adventure for this time will be over on the 20th of February. Fingers crossed it won’t take to long to figure out what’s going on. I feel pretty sad about it all to be perfectly honest & that’s probably why it’s taken me a while to write.

I will miss this face so much!

What did the MRI say;

Well, it had a lot to say and I will ramble down all the different names of what they found below.

  • Cervical kyphosis
  • Thoracic kyphoscoliosis.
  • Multilevel cervical endplate irregularity.
  • Multilevel disc desiccation cervical spine.
  • Very minor disc protrusions at C3,4&5
  • Facet joint degenerative changes seen in cervical & lumbar spine.
  • Mild lumbar scoliosis.
  • Vertebral endplate irregularity lumbar spine.
  • Degenerative changes mid & lower lumbar spine.
  • Disc desiccation L3,4,5&S1.
  • Haemangioma (benign tumor) L3
  • At L4&5 mild broad disc protrusion.
  • At L5&S1 broad disc protrusion with bilateral L5 Exit foraminal narrowing.

Sadly even with all of these findings – not a clue on how to make me better. Nothing is adding up, it’s just an add to my apparently quite a few injuries.

Let me try to explain what all these things mean starting from the top. The simplification is mainly for my brain! Trust me there’s been a lot of Google research going on!

The bit in my neck that should follow the curve of the spine and the bit that should be flat – has “swapped places”.

Some of my discs are drying out (disc desiccation). Bits of my spine are showing arthritic signs – osteoarthritis.

Disc protrusions basically means that they bulge out where they shouldn’t and can cause trouble. Which the ones I have do, some more than others.

Nothing of this is hugely “worrying” but it’s not normally seen in someone so young.

At this moment in time they’re marking the benign tumor as incidental.

To get more answers regarding these findings I will also see a specialist. Hopefully somethings can be done to help it. But we are still no closer to my mystery arm and the pain when breathing. The arm is what’s making it impossible to work and ride. And that is the main reason I’m going back to Norway.

If any of you reading this has had similar things and know something that can help – please do feel free to message me❤️.

This is still a bit blurry to me. But hopefully the blur will start to clear up in not to distant a future.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me peeps!

Take Care

Ancha XO

Winter has come to Essex

Hey you lovely lot of readers! Today is the last day of the Instagram challenge I’ve been doing this past month.

I am still waiting for results after my MRI. And to be frankly honest with you all – the waiting and not knowing is killing me. Making me quite anxious actually, I don’t like it.

It has been cold for the last little while and today a field of snow greeted me as I woke up this morning.

Was a beautiful morning. But it has it kills and the tap is now broken – great stuff!

I am trying to make myself useful in the house – but not really succeeding. I need a maid basically cus I’m rubbish. Though I’m not to bad at making pancakes.

Danza is bored. But being a good girl. What I’ll do with her will all depend on these blooming MRI results that are driving me mad. Can you tell??

Oh and sleep. What is sleep? Why does sleep hate me? Do you have any tips on how to declare my love for sleep. So it can please come back to me. I am begging you sleep ❤️ hahaha

I need a new pillow. At the moment I have 4, but none are great. I keep waking up to swap every few hours. If anyone has good suggestions on a saving pillow – well feel free to throw it this way!

These little munchkins still make me smile, even on my darkest days. I don’t know what I’d do without them. Maybe that’s why I’m getting so upset. Because I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to do what I love.

Well anyway.

Take Care

Ancha XO

Two weeks wait

Today I finally!!! Went for my MRI scan. Unfortunately there is a two week (ish) wait before we get any results, but at least it is done now!

Karen was so lovely and drove me there, getting from where I am and there with public transport is not an easy route (three times as long as by car) so very grateful she had time to come.

I then took her for lunch

Which she got very excited about! We both took sleep over breakfast! Oopsie.

The scan itself took around 30 minutes. And even though the noises are loud, I almost fell asleep haha, noise has never bothered me 😂

Whilst I’m waiting I’m continuing to see a chiropractor – but have changed place. Where I used to go had no vacancies and my head was exploding so looked around and found this place. Their treatment is slightly different and I thought for myself why not give it a shot. They do a different type of acupuncture and gosh is it painful!! Auch!

My gerbils are doing great! Heather is kinda starting to warm up towards them which is nice to see, though still a bit scared haha.

I wish you all a great weekend and talk to you again very soon.

Take Care

Ancha XO

Bad role models in the equestrian world?

Days go past one much like the other. But I am working hard on keeping my head high. The MRI is rescheduled for next Saturday. And I really hope to get some more information on what’s going on. But today I want to talk to you about something quite different.

I read someone else’s blog this morning. Saying a lot of negative things regarding horses and role models in the equestrian sport. That we treat our horses badly, work them wrongly and take away all their rights to be horses. Well I have to say I disagree, strongly. We have horses here, working up to Grand Prix, old proper school masters. And if I look at that picture above and the pictures below. I do not see an unhappy horse at all.

Why do we have to tear each other apart? Why do we not try to help and lift each other up instead? Why do we spend so much time trying to find faults in others, rather than seeking out the good and extraordinary things they can do?

I’m not saying there aren’t things that should be lifted up and discussed to increase the welfare of the horses and animals in general. But should we really think everyone out there are going out their ways to treat, keep, ride and train their horses in as bad a way as they possibly can? Do people really look to the professionals thinking they want to hurt their horses. That they want to waste 6-10 years on one horse, to get a few years in the spotlight, to then throw the horse away and start all over? To think this saddens me.

But

I believe not ❤️ and I will chose to continue my belief until more people see it too.

Take Care

Ancha XO

Instagram challenge and new Giveaway

The new year is now starting to settle in and things are finally pretty much back to normal.

I am doing a challenge on Instagram by Sophie Callahan with the #jan19ruralbusiness

I am really enjoying it so far! You can find my Instagram by clicking here.

I also got sent my next giveaway! Haven’t decided when to run it,or on which platform? Facebook, YouTube or Instagram? Or on all? Let me know what you think!

I was ment to have my MRI today, but sadly it got cancelled and will now get rescheduled due to the MRI scanner being broken. Feels like I’m going back in time and feel cursed! Sorry for the negativety, but I feel very negative and quite sad because I really want to figure out what’s wrong and get back in work and not at least back in the saddle!

I’ve been watching way to much TV and eaten to much food! Feeling like a stranded whale! I find it hard to see brightly forwards when it’s going backwards – but me and Heather have decided together to try and eat a bit better and I will try to do some more walking 😊 I quite like walking, but could do with some new earphones.

I am still doing some babysitting. She has decided that the gerbils are very exciting and she is desperate to try and pat them. They on the other hand are more curious whether she’s edable or not, haha!

I do still get to enjoy the ponies by teaching some lessons – and I do love that! Everyone is doing really well too which is even extra lovely.

Take Care

Ancha XO